Are You Self-Destructive?

Purple flower Most of us would instantly answer, no. However, if I rephrase the question your answer might change.

Do you have someone in your life that makes you crazy? In the book, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron she refers to them as Crazymakers.

Just in case you’re not sure what I mean by a Crazymaker here’s a brief description of this individual.
A Crazymaker is an individual who no matter the circumstances everything is all about them. They MUST be the center of attention in every situation. I know your first thought is probably, “Oh, she’s talking about Drama Queens.” No, not really because Drama Queens/Kings aren’t usually manipulative. They just want to be the center of attention. The energy they create with their drama might be negative but it could just as easily be positive.

Crazymakers feed off of the negative energy they create around them. This is an individual who is an expert manipulator of others. They know all the right buttons to push to send your emotions careening out of control. No matter what you tell them about your boundaries and how sincere they sound when they say they will respect your boundaries, they will not respect your boundaries. On top of that when they violate your boundaries they will find a way to make it your fault.

Knowing you have a Crazymaker in your life and continuing to allow them to ride rough shod over your life is a choice you make. If you make the choice to allow them to continue to make you crazy, then you are being self-destructive.

Continuing to allow a Crazymaker to run your life is less scary to some people than taking responsibility for their life and being in control.

You may ask how I can say that having this type of personality in your life makes you self-destructive. So let’s look one example of how a Crazymaker can damage your life.

CM will be the name of our Crazymaker and I’ll use V as the name of CM’s willing victim.
V has told CM that tomorrow is a big day for her. It’s the day the V is having an interview with her boss to see if V will get to head a big project that’s coming up. If V gets to head this project it will mean a pay raise and it will put her in line for future projects. V has made a point of telling CM that she’s going to make sure she gets a good night’s sleep so she’ll be well-rested and fresh in the morning. At 3 AM V’s phone rings. CM is on the other end. CM is all apologies but CM needs V to help her with a problem. It could be anything from a relationship issue to needing a ride from the club because CM’s had too much to drink and doesn’t have cab fare. It really doesn’t matter what the excuse for the call is, the reality is that it has served its purpose. V’s sleep has been disrupted and V will not be at her best when she goes to that meeting with her boss. V’s failure to land the project leader position will be negative energy that will feed CM. If at some point V should have the nerve to say something to CM about her ruining V’s chances at the project leader position, CM will most likely come right back with something like, “It’s your own fault. I mean if you hadn’t answered the phone I’d have called someone else.”

If you have a Crazymaker in your life the best thing you can do for yourself is to acknowledge the problem and then seek help. Whether you read a book by an expert in co-dependency or you find help through a professional counselor, get help because it’s either find help or plan on this Crazymaker running your life.

The Crazymaker is a type of Vampire; however, this Vampire doesn’t feed off of human blood. This particular type of Vampire feeds off of negative energy that they create in the lives of those around them.

You have to decide are you going to continue to feed your Crazymaker Vampire or are you going to take control of your life. Ultimately, the decision is yours.

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